I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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