He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
