If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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