Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize