you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Randomize
