Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize