Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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