Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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