you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
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