Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
