I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
