...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
