What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
