are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I would ride that face into the sunset
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize