Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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