i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
