Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
