ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
