No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
3pm strippers are depressing
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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