So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize