He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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