I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
This girl is more easily done than said...
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
