Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
