can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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