guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
