I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
