using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize