I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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