You really coming over, don't trick.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize