It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
