best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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