I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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