i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
