i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
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