Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Need sex. Gaining weight.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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