The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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