i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
