Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
