the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
