i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
porn star boner night. come get it.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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