Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
