My balls are so social today.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
