the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
