It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
