no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
