So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
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