Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
