I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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