butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
