I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize