Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Randomize
