he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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