I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
