grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
