the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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