It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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