You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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