it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
