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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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