He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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