Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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