I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
