You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize