Her vagina should come with caution tape.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
