dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
