As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I won't apologize to a one balled man
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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