I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
