He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
