I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
third nipple confirmed
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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