alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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