i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
