Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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