we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
We're too hungover to prance.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
