This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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