You're completely useless in the revolution.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
