My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
