i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
