we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
