Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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