Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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